Every parent at one time or another finds themselves yelling. Parenting isn’t always easy and your children will challenge you. Everyday life can be overwhelming and stressful and our ability to stay in control becomes difficult. When you find your children are controlling you, instead of you having the control, the result is anger, frustration, agitation, irritation. Any display of anger is saying you are loosing your ability to self-regulate. This occurs when there has been an accumulation of stress and you have lost your ability to stay present. Often parents have never really learned to self-regulate there emotions and when life’s stress gets to you and you loose your ability to stay present, you will react without thinking, resulting in a display of your frustration…yelling.
Other reasons for yelling
1. Your parents were yellers and this is a learned behavior
2. Fear of failure as a parent: The more you feel you need control, the more insecure you are in your parenting
3. Taking your children’s “bad” behavior personally
4. You have difficulty processing thoughts before reacting
5. Feeling trapped in the addictive response of yelling
6. Lack of patience and taking the time to make parenting a priority
7. Need for control to cover insecurities
8. Inability to make appropriate and consistent boundaries and limits for your child
9. Inability to follow through with appropriate consequences
10. Difficulty understanding the needs of your child when they are acting out.
Affects of Yelling on children
1. Yelling neglects your child’s expression of their needs
2. Yelling stops a child from expressing their feelings
3. Yelling prohibits the parent from showing empathy
4. Yelling results in sadness, resentment and fears
5. Yelling results in the child being responsible for the yelling parents emotions
6. Yelling manifests guilt in your child that their behavior has caused the yelling
7. Yelling is mistaken for an appropriate response to anger.
8. Yelling takes away a feeling of safety and security
9. Yelling doesn’t teach, it only produces fear
10. Eventually, your child will tune you out and not hear you.
WHAT YOU CAN DO DIFFERENTLY
1. Ask yourself why you are yelling: The more you understand the underlining reasons the more you develop control over your emotions
2. Understand the triggers and the meaning you are putting to the triggers:
The more you understand the meaning YOU are creating the better you are able to recreate another meaning that will reduce the yelling.
3. Improve self esteem and confidence as a parent: The better you feel about yourself as a parent the less you feel the need to yell.
4. Be present to your children’s behaviors and what they are telling you about their needs.
5. Learn relaxation techniques to calm your inner self.
6. Be aware of how you allow little frustrations build to big frustrations: Be more assertive in speaking your needs and feelings
7. Practice healthy and appropriate communication techniques: Read, research and role play before reacting
8. Learn from your mistakes: Each moment is a moment you can start fresh
9. Be willing to say you are sorry and to discuss the incident allowing your children to express their feelings
10. Remember, at any point you can give yourself permission to stop yelling. It doesn’t matter if the yelling has been going on for 10 minutes, just started you can walk away from your behavior. When you step away you are stopping the cycle.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Parenting teens
- SUPPORTING YOUR TEENAGER’S EDUCATION
Parenting a teenager can be frustrating and chaotic but also very rewarding when you see that your parenting has paid off and they are showing independence, initiative and the confidence to be a successful adult. Allowing your teen the opportunities to experience life while still having your support will help them to learn lessons of failure and success.
Here are some things that you can add to your parenting plan for your teenager
1. Take an interest in their classes, when they have projects due, or quizzes or tests
2. Encourage daily studying even if there is no homework so they can prepare for tests, organize projects, review lessons and make sure they are prepared for the next day
3. Provide a quite, comfortable place for them to study.
4. Provide necessary access to study and educational tools such as Internet access, computer programs, dictionary and supplies, daily planners.
5. Encourage your teen to have their friends over to study so that they can benefit from the interaction of others and make the study session more enjoyable.
6. Provide healthy snacks and beverages
7. Assist your teen to be efficient by helping them prioritize their tasks to avoid being overwhelmed
8. Make sure your teen has a ride to and from school, after school activities and school events.
9. Offer assistance in the studying process or inquire if there is extra help from teachers or student aides
10. Promote positive self talk such as “I feel confident”,” I can do this.”
11. Set boundaries and limits with bed time, diet, study time, TV, videos, computer or texting/phone time to assist them in time management stills
12. Encourage a balance between academics, work, and socializing
2. Encourage daily studying even if there is no homework so they can prepare for tests, organize projects, review lessons and make sure they are prepared for the next day
3. Provide a quite, comfortable place for them to study.
4. Provide necessary access to study and educational tools such as Internet access, computer programs, dictionary and supplies, daily planners.
5. Encourage your teen to have their friends over to study so that they can benefit from the interaction of others and make the study session more enjoyable.
6. Provide healthy snacks and beverages
7. Assist your teen to be efficient by helping them prioritize their tasks to avoid being overwhelmed
8. Make sure your teen has a ride to and from school, after school activities and school events.
9. Offer assistance in the studying process or inquire if there is extra help from teachers or student aides
10. Promote positive self talk such as “I feel confident”,” I can do this.”
11. Set boundaries and limits with bed time, diet, study time, TV, videos, computer or texting/phone time to assist them in time management stills
12. Encourage a balance between academics, work, and socializing
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
10 GUIDELINES FOR GETTING ALONG
10 GUIDELINES FOR GETTING ALONG
1. Listen: Better to say less than you think especially if you are thinking negative.
2. Develop a slow, low, persuasive voice. It is how you say it that counts more than what you say.
3. Never make a promise you can’t or you don’t intend to keep. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Integrity counts.
4. Be interested in others, show empathy and show regard of what others say and validate their pain.
5. Be cheerful and don’t dwell on the negative or the burdens of others
6. Take opportunities to say kind and encouraging words to and about others. Avoid gossip.
7. Let your actions speak about who you are rather than you words
8. Use wit and humor freely, but not at the expense of others.
9. Pay no attention to derogatory and negative remarks about you. Live so that no one will believe the person
10. Be NICE Use positive statement such as thank you, please, you are welcome.
1. Listen: Better to say less than you think especially if you are thinking negative.
2. Develop a slow, low, persuasive voice. It is how you say it that counts more than what you say.
3. Never make a promise you can’t or you don’t intend to keep. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Integrity counts.
4. Be interested in others, show empathy and show regard of what others say and validate their pain.
5. Be cheerful and don’t dwell on the negative or the burdens of others
6. Take opportunities to say kind and encouraging words to and about others. Avoid gossip.
7. Let your actions speak about who you are rather than you words
8. Use wit and humor freely, but not at the expense of others.
9. Pay no attention to derogatory and negative remarks about you. Live so that no one will believe the person
10. Be NICE Use positive statement such as thank you, please, you are welcome.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Story of the pickle jar
LIFE LESSONS AND THE STORY OF THE PICKLE JAR
Children learn by what you do not by what you say and the story of the Pickle Jar is a wonderful example of how a parent taught his son many of life's lessons.
The pickle Jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parent's bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar. As a small boy, I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty. Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled.
I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar to admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window. When the jar was filled, Dad would site at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank. Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production. Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old truck.
Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully. "These coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You're going to do better than me. This old mill town's not going to hold you back". Also, each time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly. "These are for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like me".
We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. I would always get chocolate. Dad would always get vanilla. When the clerk at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm. "When we get home, we'll start filling the jar again." He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar. As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we ginned at each other. "You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters." he said. "But you'll get there, I'll see to that."
No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans sever times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar. To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me, "When you finish college, Son", he told me, his eyes glistening, "You'll never have to eat beans again-unless you want to."
The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom and noticed that the pickle jar was gone. It had served its purpose and had been removed. A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood. My Dad was a man of few words; He never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done. When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy. In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my Dad loved me.
The first Christmas after our daughter jessica was born, we spend the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms. "She probably needs to be changed," she said, carrying the baby into my parent's bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.
She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room. "Look, "she said softly, her eyes directly me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins. I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins. With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar. I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica , had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life, for better or for worse. With your gestures and actions you can shape a child for the better or the worse.
Watch your children grow and they will teach you what you have taught them. www.facestkc.com
Children learn by what you do not by what you say and the story of the Pickle Jar is a wonderful example of how a parent taught his son many of life's lessons.
The pickle Jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parent's bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar. As a small boy, I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty. Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled.
I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar to admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window. When the jar was filled, Dad would site at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank. Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production. Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old truck.
Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully. "These coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You're going to do better than me. This old mill town's not going to hold you back". Also, each time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly. "These are for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like me".
We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. I would always get chocolate. Dad would always get vanilla. When the clerk at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm. "When we get home, we'll start filling the jar again." He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar. As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we ginned at each other. "You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters." he said. "But you'll get there, I'll see to that."
No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans sever times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar. To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me, "When you finish college, Son", he told me, his eyes glistening, "You'll never have to eat beans again-unless you want to."
The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom and noticed that the pickle jar was gone. It had served its purpose and had been removed. A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood. My Dad was a man of few words; He never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done. When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy. In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my Dad loved me.
The first Christmas after our daughter jessica was born, we spend the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms. "She probably needs to be changed," she said, carrying the baby into my parent's bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.
She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room. "Look, "she said softly, her eyes directly me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins. I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins. With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar. I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica , had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life, for better or for worse. With your gestures and actions you can shape a child for the better or the worse.
Watch your children grow and they will teach you what you have taught them. www.facestkc.com
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Parent logic: Communication
Communication is one of the many building blocks to healthy parenting and will keep your child close to you as they get into their teen years. Children all go through stages. Their negative responses to you are indicators that something is out of balance. Children do not always have the words to communicate what they are feeling is wrong so they will display it in acting out behaviors. If this occurs take it as a warning that something needs to be put back in balance. Expect this to occur at some point or another. It is a sign that you need to adjust the relationship to attend to the changing needs of your child as they develop into adulthood.
Healthy communication responds to a child's needs. It conveys trust, empathy, compassion, respect and is the foundation to working through and adapting to challenges, crisis and changes. Having healthy communication provides the building blocks teaching your child problem solving, decision making and interpersonal and social skills. When communication breaks down there is a loss of trust, disrespect, manipulation, resentment and deceit.
Communication is complex and occurs on many levels. It is important to be aware of your choice in words, your body language, the tone of voice you use as well as your delivery and the response of the other person. Their interpretation of your communication will reflect back to you in their facial expression, body language and tone of voice. It is important to be aware not only of your delivery but their response before continuing a conversation. This is a way to check to be sure you are being heard and understood. You can talk to your child but communication means you expressed your thoughts and they have reacted back to you with a response that indicates you were heard and understood.
Some important tips to communicating:
Pay attention
Paying attention conveys you care and are concerned about what your child has to say. When your child speaks, listen and stop what you are doing and make eye contact. If you are busy tell them you are busy and give them a time frame when you will be available to talk with them. Convey this in a loving and concerned approach by saying something like, " I would love to hear what you have to say but right now I have to finish dinner but once we are at the table I will be all ears."
Speak with Loving tones and wordsRemember to express yourself in a loving way with a smile and the appropriate loving body language. A child may hear your words but your body language and tone will speak louder.
Act with Loving gestures Communication is not only with words but it also actions. Little hugs, pats on the back, cuddles, winks, ruffling their hair or positive gestures such as thumbs up are also communicating you are in touch with them. Communication rituals are also important such as always saying good-night or good bye with a hug or special wave. communicating you are proud of them by displaying their artwork or school projects or reports and taking opportunities to brag to others about your child.
Say your child's name As with all positive communication techniques use your child's name often. It will hold their attention and will personalize the communication.
Be positive, short and simple When communicating your needs, keep your instructions simple and age appropriate. Tell them what you want from them rather than what you don't want from them. Such as, "Jimmy please leave your shoes at the door", rather than, " Jimmy stop wearing your shoes in the house." Wait for their responses rather than continuing your communication into a preaching speech. They need time to process and if they don't answer then ask them if they understood you. Be clear and simple in giving them choices and consequences that are age appropriate to build their self esteem and independence. See past Parenting 101 articles on Determination, self esteem etc.
Answer their questionsIf they asked the question then respect them by giving them an honest age appropriate answer. This is a parenting opportunity to find out what your child things and feels. If you don't know the answer tell them you don't know and will find out the answer or help them to find out the answer.
Refrain from judging before you fully understand Your child is showing you something that you don't agree with or that frightens you. Take this parenting opportunity to find out more about what they are thinking. Ask questions and get informed. Guide them to judging for themselves rather than telling them what you think. An example would be if your child were to tell you about their friend that smokes cigarettes. Instead of quickly responding by telling them all about the harmful affects of smoking and how you don’t approve of smoking you could instead ask them how they feel about their friend smoking. Ask them what they know about smoking and the affects of smoking. This will give you the opportunity to learn what your child knows and how they feel.
Respect your child’s boundariesRespect goes both ways so if you want respect give respect appropriately. Children have boundaries but it can be tricky because they will also learn that saying no will get them their way or our of something they don’t want to do. In this situation acknowledge what they say but tell them it isn’t appropriate and it isn’t a choice to say no this time but you hear what they are saying. When it comes to “touching” boundaries make every effort to respect your child in this area and listen to their boundaries. It is an important aspect of teaching awareness of inappropriate touching and setting boundaries to prevent sexual abuse. Respectful, loving touches foster feeling safety and enhances the communication connection between your and your child.
Be consistent
There is an old saying, “Do what I say, but not what I do”. Children learn by what you do and not as much by what you say. That is why it is so important to be consistent and let your actions speak louder than your words. Every action you take, think, what is your child learning from you. Watch your children grow and see who they are and they will show you what you are teaching them. Transparency, integrity and consistency are the basic skills of parenting. When your child can respect you for your role modeling the communication will be more open.
Healthy communication responds to a child's needs. It conveys trust, empathy, compassion, respect and is the foundation to working through and adapting to challenges, crisis and changes. Having healthy communication provides the building blocks teaching your child problem solving, decision making and interpersonal and social skills. When communication breaks down there is a loss of trust, disrespect, manipulation, resentment and deceit.
Communication is complex and occurs on many levels. It is important to be aware of your choice in words, your body language, the tone of voice you use as well as your delivery and the response of the other person. Their interpretation of your communication will reflect back to you in their facial expression, body language and tone of voice. It is important to be aware not only of your delivery but their response before continuing a conversation. This is a way to check to be sure you are being heard and understood. You can talk to your child but communication means you expressed your thoughts and they have reacted back to you with a response that indicates you were heard and understood.
Some important tips to communicating:
Pay attention
Paying attention conveys you care and are concerned about what your child has to say. When your child speaks, listen and stop what you are doing and make eye contact. If you are busy tell them you are busy and give them a time frame when you will be available to talk with them. Convey this in a loving and concerned approach by saying something like, " I would love to hear what you have to say but right now I have to finish dinner but once we are at the table I will be all ears."
Speak with Loving tones and wordsRemember to express yourself in a loving way with a smile and the appropriate loving body language. A child may hear your words but your body language and tone will speak louder.
Act with Loving gestures Communication is not only with words but it also actions. Little hugs, pats on the back, cuddles, winks, ruffling their hair or positive gestures such as thumbs up are also communicating you are in touch with them. Communication rituals are also important such as always saying good-night or good bye with a hug or special wave. communicating you are proud of them by displaying their artwork or school projects or reports and taking opportunities to brag to others about your child.
Say your child's name As with all positive communication techniques use your child's name often. It will hold their attention and will personalize the communication.
Be positive, short and simple When communicating your needs, keep your instructions simple and age appropriate. Tell them what you want from them rather than what you don't want from them. Such as, "Jimmy please leave your shoes at the door", rather than, " Jimmy stop wearing your shoes in the house." Wait for their responses rather than continuing your communication into a preaching speech. They need time to process and if they don't answer then ask them if they understood you. Be clear and simple in giving them choices and consequences that are age appropriate to build their self esteem and independence. See past Parenting 101 articles on Determination, self esteem etc.
Answer their questionsIf they asked the question then respect them by giving them an honest age appropriate answer. This is a parenting opportunity to find out what your child things and feels. If you don't know the answer tell them you don't know and will find out the answer or help them to find out the answer.
Refrain from judging before you fully understand Your child is showing you something that you don't agree with or that frightens you. Take this parenting opportunity to find out more about what they are thinking. Ask questions and get informed. Guide them to judging for themselves rather than telling them what you think. An example would be if your child were to tell you about their friend that smokes cigarettes. Instead of quickly responding by telling them all about the harmful affects of smoking and how you don’t approve of smoking you could instead ask them how they feel about their friend smoking. Ask them what they know about smoking and the affects of smoking. This will give you the opportunity to learn what your child knows and how they feel.
Respect your child’s boundariesRespect goes both ways so if you want respect give respect appropriately. Children have boundaries but it can be tricky because they will also learn that saying no will get them their way or our of something they don’t want to do. In this situation acknowledge what they say but tell them it isn’t appropriate and it isn’t a choice to say no this time but you hear what they are saying. When it comes to “touching” boundaries make every effort to respect your child in this area and listen to their boundaries. It is an important aspect of teaching awareness of inappropriate touching and setting boundaries to prevent sexual abuse. Respectful, loving touches foster feeling safety and enhances the communication connection between your and your child.
Be consistent
There is an old saying, “Do what I say, but not what I do”. Children learn by what you do and not as much by what you say. That is why it is so important to be consistent and let your actions speak louder than your words. Every action you take, think, what is your child learning from you. Watch your children grow and see who they are and they will show you what you are teaching them. Transparency, integrity and consistency are the basic skills of parenting. When your child can respect you for your role modeling the communication will be more open.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Creating Reality
There is no reality until you make reality. Yes you are that powerful!
How you create reality is by the significance and meaning you put to a person, place, thing or situation. Visualize me being in front of you speaking to you. My significance to you is based on the meaning you put to me, what I am saying, and the circumstances of me speaking to you. Your mind sees me in front of you and you hear my words and you begin to create meaning. The meaning draws from your past experience, your intellectual understandings, your needs and your accumulated knowledge and the emotions you put to them. Once a meaning starts to develop, it continues to evolve and a set of feelings will result. From that point on you will hear me through the creation of your reality. What one person hears is not what another will hear because no two realities are the same. What message you get from what I say will be filtered through the meaning you create. The meaning will continue to evolve from within you. If what I say has meaning to you, stirs and emotion in you, then, it will be significant to you. If what I say has no meaning, you will walk away without significance meaning. The experience will not linger. If what I say strikes a deeper meaning that brings up pain, vulnerability, a self awareness you did not want to face then the result will be either irritation, avoidance and denial, grief, sadness and fear or perhaps rise to a higher place of self awareness and the hope of change. I do hope for the later but will be satisfied with any because all these allow me into your unconscious mind. The place where the seeds of consciousness grows, and if I can be of any significant meaning to you then I have done my job and planted a seed of creation.
How you create reality is by the significance and meaning you put to a person, place, thing or situation. Visualize me being in front of you speaking to you. My significance to you is based on the meaning you put to me, what I am saying, and the circumstances of me speaking to you. Your mind sees me in front of you and you hear my words and you begin to create meaning. The meaning draws from your past experience, your intellectual understandings, your needs and your accumulated knowledge and the emotions you put to them. Once a meaning starts to develop, it continues to evolve and a set of feelings will result. From that point on you will hear me through the creation of your reality. What one person hears is not what another will hear because no two realities are the same. What message you get from what I say will be filtered through the meaning you create. The meaning will continue to evolve from within you. If what I say has meaning to you, stirs and emotion in you, then, it will be significant to you. If what I say has no meaning, you will walk away without significance meaning. The experience will not linger. If what I say strikes a deeper meaning that brings up pain, vulnerability, a self awareness you did not want to face then the result will be either irritation, avoidance and denial, grief, sadness and fear or perhaps rise to a higher place of self awareness and the hope of change. I do hope for the later but will be satisfied with any because all these allow me into your unconscious mind. The place where the seeds of consciousness grows, and if I can be of any significant meaning to you then I have done my job and planted a seed of creation.
Friday, March 2, 2012
The Apple Tree and The Orange Tree
The Apple Tree and The Orange Tree
by FACES, INC on Wednesday, February
29, 2012 at 11:31am ·
A person living in Michigan desires an apple so the person packs up and
travels to Florida where he comes upon and Orange tree. He walks up to the
Orange tree and says, "Hello, I would like an apple". The Orange tree says, " I
am sorry but I am an Orange tree and I have no apples". The person then says, "
but you are a fruit tree and surely you can give me what I desire". The Orange
tree tries and tries but is not ever able to give the person an Apple. The
person tries and begs but the Orange tree never is able to fulfil his desire for
an apple. The person gets angry at the Orange tree for not being able to be an
Apple tree. The person resents the Orange tree, blames the Orange tree and is so
very hurt that the Orange tree is not an Apple tree. The Orange tree becomes
confused and wonders why the person came to the Orange tree when the person
really wanted an Apple tree and all that an Apple tree could give. Finally the
person leaves the Orange tree and sadly travels back to Michigan. One day
reflecting on the Orange tree, the person realizes that the Orange tree couldn't
give him apples because he wasn't capable. The Orange tree was an Orange tree.
The Orange tree was just being an Orange tree and it was his lack of acceptance
that caused the dissappointment. It was the person who believed and expected the
Orange tree to give him an Apple that caused his sadness. The person was
empowered and enlightened so..... One beautiful fall day the person decided he
wanted an apple and went to an Apple tree and was no longer disappointed.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Blame game
Blaming others for the choices that you make causes
you to loose your power. You are left
being a victim. As a victim you are
unable to make choices of change and will stagnate, remaining in the same
cycle, getting the same results that you have always gotten. When you take self
responsibility for the choices you have made and stop blaming others you will
realize your choices create your circumstances.
You gain power and control over your life and the choices you make to
get the changes you desire. TKC
Monday, January 30, 2012
The first Blog
In addition to my website newsletter www.FACESTKC.com and facebook business page ( https://www.facebook.com/#!/FACESTKC) , and my articles that appear at www.mymommyslittlehelper.com, this Blog site will be used to post on-going dialog, updates, note worthy information and provoking thoughts. Please check back frequently.
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